_p.y.t

Idk why, but I have nasty feeling going on in my stomach.  Why?  I can’t even answer that myself.  Odd, I know.

I’m laying in bed & the moment I laid still…my head began to spin.

I hate this.
I hate this feeling.
I hate this feeling of ‘wrong’ness.
I hate that I don’t even know why…or maybe…

I’m just denying it.  Letting it dwell in my thoughts.  I’m letting it linger & torture me from the inside-out. *GAG.

At least my hands aren’t trembling.  If that was the case, then something DEFINITELY isn’t right.

I hope I’m just having…”one-of-those-days.”  Know what I mean? Yea…those.

For several days so many random thoughts have been going through this head of mines.  They remain there.  Nothing has been said yet.  Every time it comes down to it, I’m in loss of words.  It’s like I’m highlighting everything and pressing delete.  I don’t mean to do it, it just happens.

I guess this is why I’m having a random BLOG moment.  What’s going on ‘now’…I’m venting it out…rather than building it up.  I guess it’s only healthy/right that I do.  I’ve always been the type to let things settle & build up…then all of a sudden, hell breaks loose. NEGATORY on that end.  I can’t help it.  That’s just how I’ve always been…that’s ME.

I honestly don’t know where to begin on this random babble of randomness.  Maybe that’s why I’m stuck…don’t know where to begin…don’t know where to start.  There’s a cluster of thoughts…& I can’t break into it. BAH!

Gosh, I HATE THIS.

I need something to calm my nerves down..ease my mind.  MUSIC never lets me down, thank goodness!

BBL.

I let chance slip right through my fingers.
I let love pass me by.
& because of all that,
I sit here & wonder why?

How does one let another go?

I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared to love again.
Never felt so much resentment.